The Strugglee

School has already started at last but i am feeling the pressure to do well and excel. I find myself competing against some of the best learners or IT/business professional. However, i will not step back that easily... i will try till my last breath! That's the spirit right? i am a very persistent person.. i will never give up!

Though so, i found myself in an awkward situation sometimes as the learning environment differs greatly to my previous institution. There wasnt that much interaction and enthuasim to speak (but there were some that were enthuasitic to participate). I try to speak up and participate abit more over the days even though i may risk having some social issues (not everyone loves to be question) but i know it allows everyone to learn and understand. Hence... hack care lahz...

I have an upcoming presentation/facilitation (on the 3rd week of school which is around <2>

My life is just plain because of my lack of risks

All the time, i let things get the best of me. Allowed incorrect things to kept going because of my soft heart, because i didn't want to hurt anybody. All the time, i believed in people to be able to change and situation to turn out after being bad but i was so wrong. A situation will be changed because the person in it never will change anyway.
I was foolish to believed in people that i thought could still be trusted after they lost my trust. I let them get the best of me and break me into pieces. I trusted people close to me to help me do a simple thing but they didn't. They always said the word "tomorrow" but that tomorrow never came.
I don't know whether everyone was like this but i really lost the trust on people.

Well... life isn't nice to me at all. When i felt like life was abit better, it played on me once again. I know i should have so much happiness bottled up in me at this point of time. Be happy be cheerful. No matter what i still have a perfect working body.
Why like everytime relationship problems drains away every single happiness i had so far and get me back into stage 1,
pathetic feeling rite now.

Using break as a threat...PLEASE

I really had enough of this relationship. I'm just not happy being with this guy and i can't tolerate the way he thinks that everything that i say was trying to insult or make him feel bad.
In fact, i wasn't! i was just asking a question and stating where i said so...

Every message that i conveyed to him were mis-interpretated!

Please give me a break!
All i wanna do now is sleep and forget about this situation... it is just so upsetting... it's a death of a relationship that i thought would never end.

broke up wif my bf

i had officially broken up wif my bf but though it is sad that the relationship didn't last, i felt that it was right and that it will bring happiness joy laughter every single aspect of a good thing will flourish!
i felt that we had been constantly quarreling and arguing that makes our life very very miserable. we were madly in love but it seems that the love is crushing our happiness... i do not feel that i shouldn't be happy as life goes on for the both of us... i was never losing him.. he is still alive..
i should believe and be happy that the solution will bring happiness to both of us... anyway this break will also come in time when he goes to the army... if we were meant to be... we will be together again..
I just felt that i didn't lost anything i didn't waste time being with him. i learnt many things with him. i learnt badminton, i was made new friends and most importantly i felt that the love was true for once in my relationship. i knew that somehow i was special to him, the only gal that he brought home. the first gal to kiss him. that's enough for me... love doesn't last but as long as it happened and made us happy in the past.. it is an experience that i will never regret or feel sad about... i never will forget him and somehow he has already found a place in my memory and heart. he is someone that i would never forget till the end of time and he will be replaced.
but that doesn't probably mean that my heart wont beat for anyone else.. i believed that everyone is meant to be with someone... so i will not close my heart..

i have search high and low for the reason of the rabbit's death but i can't find the answer... haiz... did it really died of heart attack?
i hope i'm not the cause of it