My life is just plain because of my lack of risks

All the time, i let things get the best of me. Allowed incorrect things to kept going because of my soft heart, because i didn't want to hurt anybody. All the time, i believed in people to be able to change and situation to turn out after being bad but i was so wrong. A situation will be changed because the person in it never will change anyway.
I was foolish to believed in people that i thought could still be trusted after they lost my trust. I let them get the best of me and break me into pieces. I trusted people close to me to help me do a simple thing but they didn't. They always said the word "tomorrow" but that tomorrow never came.
I don't know whether everyone was like this but i really lost the trust on people.

Well... life isn't nice to me at all. When i felt like life was abit better, it played on me once again. I know i should have so much happiness bottled up in me at this point of time. Be happy be cheerful. No matter what i still have a perfect working body.
Why like everytime relationship problems drains away every single happiness i had so far and get me back into stage 1,
pathetic feeling rite now.

Using break as a threat...PLEASE

I really had enough of this relationship. I'm just not happy being with this guy and i can't tolerate the way he thinks that everything that i say was trying to insult or make him feel bad.
In fact, i wasn't! i was just asking a question and stating where i said so...

Every message that i conveyed to him were mis-interpretated!

Please give me a break!
All i wanna do now is sleep and forget about this situation... it is just so upsetting... it's a death of a relationship that i thought would never end.

broke up wif my bf

i had officially broken up wif my bf but though it is sad that the relationship didn't last, i felt that it was right and that it will bring happiness joy laughter every single aspect of a good thing will flourish!
i felt that we had been constantly quarreling and arguing that makes our life very very miserable. we were madly in love but it seems that the love is crushing our happiness... i do not feel that i shouldn't be happy as life goes on for the both of us... i was never losing him.. he is still alive..
i should believe and be happy that the solution will bring happiness to both of us... anyway this break will also come in time when he goes to the army... if we were meant to be... we will be together again..
I just felt that i didn't lost anything i didn't waste time being with him. i learnt many things with him. i learnt badminton, i was made new friends and most importantly i felt that the love was true for once in my relationship. i knew that somehow i was special to him, the only gal that he brought home. the first gal to kiss him. that's enough for me... love doesn't last but as long as it happened and made us happy in the past.. it is an experience that i will never regret or feel sad about... i never will forget him and somehow he has already found a place in my memory and heart. he is someone that i would never forget till the end of time and he will be replaced.
but that doesn't probably mean that my heart wont beat for anyone else.. i believed that everyone is meant to be with someone... so i will not close my heart..

i have search high and low for the reason of the rabbit's death but i can't find the answer... haiz... did it really died of heart attack?
i hope i'm not the cause of it

still blaming myself for the rabbit's (harry) death

Though everyone around me believed that the rabbit because of old age and a sudden heart attack. I still blamed myself for it's sudden death, i believed that i could have prevented the death of the rabbit. I felt that i didn't treat it as well as i hoped to and gave it all a better place to live in. I would have given it a better living area if i had that much money and i promised to buy a bigger cage if i got accepted in SMU... but... it is gone... it died before i could at least give it a better life... It was so lonely by itself and the whole day, the only time i had with the rabbit was during the time when i needed to feed and refill it's water. That was all...
I notice that it's nose was getting a little bigger but i didn't do much as my dad told me that it was okay... i asked a guy working at pet safari and he told me it was due to the steel bars that it was usually looking out through...
I felt really bad as it was the only pet that was alone in a cage and i couldn't do much to make it's life better.. i hope it will forgive me... i really do miss it... it has been 3 months since i laid eyes on it...i hope it went to a better place and be forever happy...

in loving memories of harry

farewell my dear harry

i was shocked that my rabbit died out of a sudden when i was out.. i thought it was a lie but when i seen it with my own eyes i was lost with words... my brain was blank
i didn't know what to do...
i didn't know how i could have brought it back into life...
i felt very bad that i couldn't be there when it died.. i felt bad that i couldn't give it a better life..
a better place to live in.. the rabbit was always in the small cage. it wasn't that i didn't want to let it out but i didn't want anything to happen to it because i had two dogs.
i felt bad that i didn't sent it to a vet when i suspect something was wrong though no one believed... i didn't sent it to a vet as i saw improvement but somehow it never seems to fully recover... i was planning to send it to the vet this monday.. i thought that giving it multi-vitamin would make it better.. but it seems like it only did for awhile
i didn't know that this will led to it's death..
i don't know how it died but i am sure missing it... my parents said it died of old age but i believed that i could have saved it if i had brought it to the hospital.. i cried and cried..
but no matter how much i did i couldn't do anything for harry...
i feel like i am a bad owner.. this rabbit has suffered too much.. it has been previously abandoned too...
i am really a bad owner..
i am not fit to be an owner
i am really sorry harry
i didn't mean to such a bad owner..
i will always miss u

a tough day

yesterday was indeed a tough day.. i had to wake up early at 7 to prepare for my exam items and get ready to go down for breakfast. The QET exam was okay but i do not have confidence that i will fare well. I took a first ever pic of me in SMU.. look for yourself.. i know it may not be that nice as i was really rushing to the school of business LOL... i was worried that i would be late.. hehe

Later i went over to justin bday celebration to pass him the present that i bought him and ate his bday cake.. He was kind to send me and his friends home sia... really appreciated that

SMU QET exam

tomorrow will be a busy day.. my bro would be leaving for Taiwan, Justin bday party and a QET test in the morning... but lucky it will be in the morning sia.. better to get it done with so that the rest of the day can be enjoyed haha...

though the result may not affect my overall gpa, i would nt need to take an additional module if i passed for this QET test... haha... so i just try my best ba... haha OH..Ya.. i forgot to mention that i would be taking the same degree course as my bro in the same school and the same term... so fun...

my target now is to get better grades than my bro... haha...but it will difficult and challenging.. but so wat... no harm trying :)