indiana jones movie

shld i watch e movie? When i was small i wished so much to watch this movie in e theatre now i given e chance.. I think i would actually gif a go cos it,s my dream no matter how bad it could be i wished to watch it wif my own eyes :)

relationship luv could be simple

i will believe tt there is still true luv and i will jus try to be easy on him maybe luv can be simple maybe when he loves me i shld be happy.. I shldn't ask 4anythin neither do i wan this relationship to hinder him fr his dreams. I jus hope tt he does luv me n tt he'll stand by me n nt cheat on me.. Jus hope he won't i trust him wif my heart n soul

maybe i was too hard on myself

maybe life isn't tt hard i have decided to nv pls any1 i dun need them 2b happy 4me 2b happy i need 2care about myself.. I'm tired of pleasin ppl but e truth is e person i shld pls is myself 1st.. I must think tt i would still be gd even if some ppl hate me

moved by the movie P.S I Love You

the story really shows how painful and heartbroken the lady was after her husband's downfall.. couldnt imagine being in her shoes cos i had nv really lost anyone tt close.. hopefully tt doesnt happen to me..
i felt like after losing sth do one actually knows how impt it was and how much tt sth really meant in their lives. maybe when u are in a relationship u may require more tender love n care cos u assume tt it is a must but sometimes maybe we shld take things easy and nv take advantage of their existence.

family + bf = fatal attack

house alr nt in peace le now still have a bf to make my life even more miserable. mum get angry cos she feels the house is not clean! yesterday i clean my room she say to me tt im useless nvm.. tdy threaten to throw my rabbit out of the house! bad bad day

feel like leavin the house go find somewhere to hang out at nite but thinking tt i have nowhere nicer to be in makes me damn miserable

bf same problem... actually i tot he finally knows my pain but he doesnt even know what is happening.. trying to strong independent but every single time he just does sth to make me feel defeated by his peers... maybe he nv will be mine for the long run. yesterday i talked to him about the future like maybe if he marry me can do this or that... he nt interested in any of them. he jus tried to ignore me as much as possible make me think like i am thinking too much.. i didnt even dare to ask like whether he would marry me in the future or wat cos i fear of knowing the ans

tdy i noe i wake up late at 8 sth... he alr working so i cant ask him whether he can meet me so he exploits on this weakness to argue wif me... it's nt like i wanted to gve u a last min notice... i didnt wake up in time to tell i wanted to meet him. so in the end we nv gt to meet cos i didnt noe wat time he ended his work and ended msging him only after he had alr reached home.

he said tt he took this whole week off to pei me but somehow i think tt he did it for other reason. i doubted him cos he nv ever hold on to his words and he blames me for nt trusting me but i really cant trust him now. so many years of lying has made me unable to trust him... i told him tt wat he did now is nt enuff to make me feel like trusting u but he nv took tt in.. he couldnt understand tt

he msged me countless times to tell me tt he has a gastric pain bcos of me and tt he has no mood to do this and that to make me feel guilty... i know he is trying to make me feel guilty trying to make me say sry.. but i alr been accustomed to it le... i dun feel like i shld always give in to him... he nv did understood whyi was unhappy why i cried and etc...

i feel like he doesnt love me... rather i feel like he needs me more than he loves me

in my heart i feel defeated by his peers as he went out wif them instead of me.... i noe i shldnt feel like this but the truth is tt i feel like he doesnt really want to hang out wif me. he rather hang out wif his gd buddies to watch a accuracy of death than be wif me. i asked him to invite them to watch indiana jones he didnt ask...the guy (tt said to me that he was tired so he didnt want to meet me) went out wif his frenz to watch a movie.

how happy can i get from all this

why must he always make me feel like he is btr wif his frenz than be wif me

am i really tt jealous of them making him happy

or rather am i angry cos he rather spend time wif them

somehow i feel like i am nv jealous but i am unhappy wif how my bf treats me

fallen out of love again and again and again

i starting to think like maybe love didnt really exist. when i feel like he could actually love me he broke my heart back into pieces... maybe it is god's way of making fun of me but all it does is tear me apart again...
i long for a guy to make me feel whole but all the guys in my life just crush me to pieces everytime. maybe what i need is just friends... love will nv come to me... i dun wan to believe in love ... i dun think i can take the heartbreak professionally...
Maybe my life is meant to be lonely .... haha...! i nv will be embraced by any guy...

:)

maybe update this blog another day ba.. kinda tired le... can check out my win.live space for more posts: http://kailing88.spaces.live.com/
signing out

adding a post

i am adding a post right now cos my friends said that i havent been updating my blog! anyway life is still the way it is but i kinda feel btr... been able to meet wif my old secondary sch frenz but not joan yet (hopefully in the future though)... *yawns