house alr nt in peace le now still have a bf to make my life even more miserable. mum get angry cos she feels the house is not clean! yesterday i clean my room she say to me tt im useless nvm.. tdy threaten to throw my rabbit out of the house! bad bad day
feel like leavin the house go find somewhere to hang out at nite but thinking tt i have nowhere nicer to be in makes me damn miserable
bf same problem... actually i tot he finally knows my pain but he doesnt even know what is happening.. trying to strong independent but every single time he just does sth to make me feel defeated by his peers... maybe he nv will be mine for the long run. yesterday i talked to him about the future like maybe if he marry me can do this or that... he nt interested in any of them. he jus tried to ignore me as much as possible make me think like i am thinking too much.. i didnt even dare to ask like whether he would marry me in the future or wat cos i fear of knowing the ans
tdy i noe i wake up late at 8 sth... he alr working so i cant ask him whether he can meet me so he exploits on this weakness to argue wif me... it's nt like i wanted to gve u a last min notice... i didnt wake up in time to tell i wanted to meet him. so in the end we nv gt to meet cos i didnt noe wat time he ended his work and ended msging him only after he had alr reached home.
he said tt he took this whole week off to pei me but somehow i think tt he did it for other reason. i doubted him cos he nv ever hold on to his words and he blames me for nt trusting me but i really cant trust him now. so many years of lying has made me unable to trust him... i told him tt wat he did now is nt enuff to make me feel like trusting u but he nv took tt in.. he couldnt understand tt
he msged me countless times to tell me tt he has a gastric pain bcos of me and tt he has no mood to do this and that to make me feel guilty... i know he is trying to make me feel guilty trying to make me say sry.. but i alr been accustomed to it le... i dun feel like i shld always give in to him... he nv did understood whyi was unhappy why i cried and etc...
i feel like he doesnt love me... rather i feel like he needs me more than he loves me
in my heart i feel defeated by his peers as he went out wif them instead of me.... i noe i shldnt feel like this but the truth is tt i feel like he doesnt really want to hang out wif me. he rather hang out wif his gd buddies to watch a accuracy of death than be wif me. i asked him to invite them to watch indiana jones he didnt ask...the guy (tt said to me that he was tired so he didnt want to meet me) went out wif his frenz to watch a movie.
how happy can i get from all this
why must he always make me feel like he is btr wif his frenz than be wif me
am i really tt jealous of them making him happy
or rather am i angry cos he rather spend time wif them
somehow i feel like i am nv jealous but i am unhappy wif how my bf treats me
1 comments:
Perhaps you could try the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" by John Gray. His series are about relationships.
Although I didn't like it much personally, many others find them helpful!
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